


Wax on, Wax off

by Waldo



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-29
Updated: 2006-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-06 02:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anything involving Rodney's ass is always funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wax on, Wax off

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/atlantis_lvw/profile)[**atlantis_lvw**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/atlantis_lvw/) (and I won the round. Yay!) We got the prompt 'gifts' and 600 words.

[Download this fic as an .mp3 podfic.](http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8KSFFG07)

 

Carson pulled his instrument tray closer. "You know, Rodney, I shouldn't be seeing the arse of anyone I'm not dating nearly this often."

Rodney tried to crane his head around to glare at Carson. "Very funny. You should take that act on the road."

"Beats taking one in the ass. Again," John said from where he was leaning against Rodney's bed, his back to Rodney.

"If he'd only taken one, you probably could have handled this in the field. It's the twenty plus of them that's causing the problem, not to mention the number of glochidia that have to be in there." Carson said as he finished cutting away Rodney's pants and shorts.

"Number of what?!" Rodney asked, alarmed that there was something other than pieces of cactus in his ass.

"Glochidia. The smaller spines. Don't worry, we have methods for getting those out too. Now, hold still. This is going to sting."

Rodney gripped the pillow, white-knuckled.

John flinched a little as Carson began plucking out the larger spines with a tweezers. Turning back around he said casually, "You know, Rodney, for someone who's sick of being the butt of everyone's jokes, you make it awfully easy for us."

"Very fun-ny, Col-nel," Rodney said, his speech interrupted as he caught his breath each time Carson plucked.

John hooked a stool with his foot and sat so that he was eye-level with Rodney. "So explain this to me… How the hell did you come to sit on a cactus?"

"I fell. I slipped on a rock under the sand and fell – ow! – backwards."

"That's the last of the large ones. Now for the glochidia. Be right back." Carson patted Rodney's back as he left to retrieve more supplies.

"Well, at least now when someone asks you what crawled up your ass and died, you'll have an answer for them." John continued to torment.

"Yes, you," Rodney retorted, thinking that there was something wrong about that answer, but dismissing it.

"I'm flattered, but I'm seeing someone," John tossed back. "Not to mention… I think your butt's going to be out of commission for a while after this one."

Carson came back after a minute with a jar that looked distinctly non-medical.

Rodney squinted, "What is that?"

"Depilitory wax. We spread it over the little spines, wait for it to cool and when we rip it off, the spines come with." Carson began spreading the wax before Rodney could think too hard about it.

John, on the other hand, was able to figure it out quite a bit faster. "Oh my god! You're getting your ass waxed!"

"Thank you, Colonel, you're making this so much more bearable," Rodney grumbled.

Finishing, Carson set the jar down. "That should do it. It'll need a few minutes to set and grab the spines. How's the pain?"

Rodney sighed. "Manageable, I suppose."

"When you're done, I'll give you some codeine." He patted Rodney's leg. "Colonel, do you have a minute?"

John stood up, "Sure." He followed Carson into his office.

They both took a seat. "You weren't here when Rodney took that arrow, but he was bloody impossible to treat. It seems to have made a difference having you here today. I gave him a bit of lidocane when we started, but I was really ready for a battle with him. For as much as you complain about him, you do seem to handle him quite well."

John shrugged off the compliment. " Ability to cope with pain-in-the-ass scientists… I guess it's a gift. Some days it's one I'd like to return."


End file.
